Why should I go and see a stranger?
Life is difficult and we are all going to be in situations where we feel overwhelmed, afraid or unhappy. Friends and relatives are helpful to a point, but it sometimes helps to have a fresh perspective from a professional who is skilled and trained in human behaviour. My experience has been that most therapy visits can be broken down into two categories:
Those with a definite external source:
This is usually a problem rooted in a relationship, work, illness, trauma or loss. The problem is clear and people often come to therapy because they cannot understand why they are feeling so out of control.
I am often told “I should be over this” or “I don’t want to get up in the mornings”. Sometimes understanding situations and symptoms is enough to give us courage to move on. Occasionally depression and/or anxiety might have taken over and more active intervention is needed.
Internal symptoms that render an individual unable to cope:
There is a misunderstanding of the paralysing effects of certain mood and anxiety disorders. These often manifest in physical symptoms, mood swings and an inability to perform even the simplest tasks. I am including addictions and eating disorders in this group.
In situations where life is just not worth living, it is essential to seek help. Most depressive and anxiety disorders can be controlled and managed. No one needs to live a life of sadness or chaos. Seeking help is the first step towards reclaiming your life.
When should I go and see a stranger?
We do not think twice about going to see a doctor if we experience certain physical symptoms, yet we hold back and feel useless when the symptom is emotional. Physical pain is somehow more acceptable and easy to define; however, emotional pain is equally disempowering. We somehow try to cope no matter how difficult it might be.
Anyone, who is an abusive relationship, be it at work or home, should seek help.Anyone living with an addiction, or with a spouse, parent or child with an addiction, should see someone. Anyone who has been through a trauma of any sorts and is still feeling afraid, depressed or anxious, should go and see someone. Anyone who cannot sleep, or cannot get up in the morning, should see someone.Anyone who suffers from moods swings, or rage attacks, or who is living with someone with these symptoms, should see someone.
Who should I see?
Just as there is no ‘one size fits all problem,’ there is no ‘one size fits all therapist’. Although problems may overlap, as in the case with medicine, our training is broken down into three distinct categories that define our areas of practice.
Clinical Psychologists
The focus of the clinical psychologist is emotional disorders. Much of the training internship takes place in psychiatric hospitals and community based clinics. Clinical psychologists are trained to recognise and deal with disorders related to anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress, as well life situations that lead to specific emotional symptoms.
The clinical psychologist will refer out to a psychiatrist if there is also a need for medication. This can hasten recovery in certain disorders, such as obsessive disorders, bipolar disorders or severe anxiety and depression.
Counselling Psychologists
Counselling psychologists are equipped to deal with problems requiring short term interventions and vocational advice. Many counselling psychologists also deal with relationship issues. A number of counselling psychologists have areas of expertise, such as forensic psychology.
Many counselling psychologists are well trained in certain psychological tests that assist them in giving specific direction.
Educational Psychologists
Any school related problem needs an educational psychologist. They are well versed and trained in scholastic and family related problems, and are also equipped for family interventions. Educational psychologists are helpful in areas related to school readiness and attention deficit related problems in children and teenagers.
Other Problems
There are areas that require therapy from a person with specific training in that area. This is because specialist knowledge is needed. These areas include eating disorders and addictions.
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Where and How?
Sadly one of the most difficult obstacles facing people who wish to go into therapy is the cost. This should, however, not be a factor keeping people from seeking help.
Many of the larger universities offer psychological services where intern psychology students can gain experience while under supervision from a qualified professional. In these circumstances having an experienced and qualified person assisting the intern means that the quality of service is, in most cases, excellent. Universities can also assist in advising which community clinics offer free or capped services.
If you are on a comprehensive medical aid plan, there are more options.
Many psychologists have a system where they can claim directly from medical aids. Some of the privately run hospitals may also have psychologists working with this system. Please do not think that more expensive psychologists are necessarily better. There are a large percentage of psychologists who work within or slightly above medical aid rates. Those who are specialised might charge more, for instance in the case of forensic psychologists; however, for the most part, more expensive does not mean better quality.
When phoning to make enquiries, have a clear list of questions ready. Don’t be afraid of bringing up cost. Some psychologists are strict with up-front payment, but they might be able to give other recommendations.
Friends and family are also a good source of information. It is important to feel safe and understood. Another person’s recommendation will go a long way towards putting your mind at ease.
Above all remember that, like a doctor, psychologists are not there to judge. They are there to assist in healing, direction and giving insight.
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Frequently Asked Questions
The decision to go and seek help with a stranger is never an easy one. Most of us are by nature protective of our personal lives and opening up to reveal vulnerability is, for many, extremely difficult. I hope to give a few simple guidelines to assist in the process, making it as painless as possible.